The Most Unusual Proposal
by Kitsune Kit
Summary: Kakashi finds himself used as a human shield while Sasuke and Sakura scream at each other over Sasuke's abnormal marriage proposal. Crack with a side of Fluff. Really old work.


This has been in my notebook forever, so I finally found time to type it. This has SasukexSakura in it. If you do not like SasukexSakura then why are you here?

Disclaimer: . . . Do I look like Kishimoto-sensei to you?

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The Most Unusual Proposal

Kakashi looked up as Sakura streaked across the training grounds at top speed and latched onto him. Manhandling him, she positioned him between her and . . . Sasuke? Sasuke was pale, sweating, and looking very, very agitated. Kakashi chuckled, earning death glares from both Sasuke and Sakura. Half the training grounds decided that now was a good time to vacate the premises rather than face the wrath of Sakura's fist of furry, or Sasuke's chidori. The other half began to train vigorously, pretending they weren't eves dropping.

"Damnit woman!" Sasuke half panted, half growled, "Can't we talk about this?"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Sakura wailed from behind her improvised Kakashi-shield.

"Why won't you marry me?!" Sasuke fumed, sharingan spinning angrily.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "_This is interesting,"_ he thought, _"I always assumed Sasuke was asexual."_

"Because you're in it for the sex!" Sakura screeched, causing Sasuke to splutter. "I mean, you call it clan restoration, but we all know what you're really talking about!" No one was even pretending to train; instead they opted for staring opened mouthed at the feuding couple.

_"This is even better then when Naruto first asked Hinata out and her father almost castrated him!"_ Kakashi cackled mentally.

Sasuke took a deep breath to compose himself, "Look, Sakura, I admit that asking you do help me restore my clan was a bad way to start a marriage proposal-"

"Damn straight it was!"

Sasuke frowned, the sharingan faded and a distressed look entered his eyes, "Sakura, will you just shut up and hear me out?!" he shouted angrily.

Sakura's eyes clouded, great she had hurt him, "Sasuke-"

"No, _listen_!" he snapped, then took a deep breath to compose himself. "Sakura, I love you." The training grounds erupted into whistles, cheers and catcalls. Even Kakashi let out a whistle or two. Naruto opened his mouth to shout something, but Hinata clasped a hand over his mouth (she had gotten much bolder after Naruto asked her out) and stared intently at Sasuke, much like Sakura was.

Sasuke shifted, uncomfortable under the stares of his peers, but hardened his resolve. "I love you," he repeated. Strange, it got easier to say each time he said it. "I love you in a let you eat my last tomato, pretend to like you cooking, put up with your off key singing, want to hold your hand when ever you walk next to me, unable to forget about you even after years of being-with-a-snake-pedophile-and-tracking-down-and-killing-my-brother kind of way.

"Awww," Kiba cooed.

"Silence in the peanut gallery!" Tenten hissed and walloped him over the head with a pair of nunchucks.

Sasuke continued as if he hadn't heard the outburst, he probably hadn't, so caught up in his confession was he. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want you to be the mother of my children, so please won't you marry me?" He bowed his head, dark bangs hiding his face from view, and waited.

Sakura blushed and took a step out from behind Kakashi. "You should have said that earlier." Sasuke glanced up hopefully, and Sakura smiled, "Yes, I'll marry you." The training grounds erupted into cheers, clapping, and wolf-whistles. Kakashi smiled from under his mask and pulled out his porn, the worst was over.

Sasuke stalked over, smiling as if he was just made King of the World, grabbed Sakura in a hug and kissed her. When they broke apart, panting, but wearing identical joyous grins, (yes even Sasuke) the cheering had stopped. Then, Sakura realized something. "Hey Sasuke, did you get me a ring?" she asked indignantly. Kakashi sighed and put away his porn, apparently the worst was not over. Sakura glared at her unhelpful teacher, and then at Sasuke. "Sasuke," she ground out threateningly, "You _so_ better have gotten me a ring!"

"I did," Sasuke said and uncharacteristically flushed, "but I dropped it when you kicked me in the nuts."

Naruto nudged Neji, with his foot, "I told you so, now pay up Fate-Boy." Neji sighed and handed the beaming Naruto a twenty.

Sakura flush bright red and grimaced, "sorry."

"Buahahah! You kicked him in the nuts while he was proposing? That's rich, fore-head girl, real nice story to tell the children!" Ino shrieked between whoops of laughter.

Sakura glared and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, and tugged him off in the direction of her apartment. "Shut up pig, now if you'll _all_," she glared at her amused friends and teacher, "excuse us, my fiancé and I have an engagement ring to find." She stomped off into the sunset dragging Sasuke, who had zoned out with a goofy smile on his face the moment she'd said fiancé.

Kakashi shook his head and retrieved his porn from his hip-pouch. _"Kids these days."

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Well, what do you think? I can totally picture Kakashi doing something like that.

Reviews will be treasured.

Peace out.


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